AUTO BODY COLLISION REPAIR CENTER FULL SERVICE AUTO REPAIR SHOP
After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the driver of the other vehicle was drunk. He told me the other vehicle was a cow.
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other car.
I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
I saw the slow-moving, sad-fac
ed old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cat.
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
PUNS
When there are auto accidents in Sudan the vehicles go the the Khartoum.
A new auto body shop owner took a crash course to learn his business.
If you crash into a Volkswagen Golf, does that make a hole in one?
A guy who crashed his model T Ford was a T totaller.
Today a truck hit my car. I wasn't hurt but I got the freight of my life.
The car stopped with a jerk, then the jerk got out.
It was a lucky car. Until he had to push his luck.
The earliest mention of cars is in the Bible when Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden of Eden.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
He drove his car until the day of wreckoning.
They had a two-door car and a Tudor house.
Applying mascara in a car can cause whipped lashes.
Racing car drivers with laryngitis have hoarsepower.
Weaving cars mean Looming accidents.
Those who polish cars so that they shine work in a buffer zone.
When it got stuck in the mud my car had to be toad.
A secretary indented her car after leaving too narrow a margin.
Old race car drivers never die, they just write their auto biography.
When driving Mickey Mouse sings cartunes.
If every car in the country were white you would live in a white carnation.
A man who rode in a carpool felt sick whenever they passed under a certain tunnel. His doctor diagnosed this as carpool tunnel syndrome.
